All of me

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Second Chances

on May 6, 2014

On February 24th, I became very grateful for one thing – second chances. On this day I got the second chance to be the Aunt I couldn’t be almost 3 years before.

On February 24th, our second nephew was born. Throughout the entire pregnancy, I was only plagued by jealousy one or two times, but generally, I was ecstatic for my sister-in-law and her growing family.

When we got the call our sweet nephew had arrived, we went to the hospital as soon as we were able. We didn’t dread walking into the maternity ward and instead of shrinking into silent invisibility, I became an active participant. We asked about all the details, held, and kissed his precious-ness. We only smiled, thinking of the wonderful time ahead with another little boy to join in for family time.

As we walked back to the car after our first visit with our new nephew, Ryan and I both marveled at what a great experience it was and how great it was that we were able to have a second chance at being there in a way we couldn’t be the first time around.

Infertility seems to grab you so negatively and I don’t think people understand that it’s not just something that affects that particular couple, but every single other person in their lives as well. Although I don’t have any regrets, I do wish the journey of our oldest nephew’s arrival into this world had been happier and less dramatic than it had been.

But this feels like a fresh start and I hope we can be the family we were unable to be before. I hope our son can develop a close relationship with his big and little cousin, and that by putting in an honest effort – the broken bridges between the rest of us can continue to be mended.

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