All of me

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The Internal Struggle

on July 29, 2013

There’s a fine line with infertility. You are constantly on an emotional edge that can range from euphoria to despair with no consistent trigger.

So after the struggle of achieving our miracle pregnancy, we were left with one solo embryo to freeze and attempt to transfer at a later date.

But did we want to tread on that ledge once more? Would we end up in the same position? What if we had to deal with family pregnancies at the same time of finding out if this didn’t work – would we be able to do it?

Maybe we should not tempt fate, deal with the fact our son may be the best we can get and move on with our lives.

But then you’re faced with the what if’s of not giving it a shot. What if it had worked and we cold have had the family we had dreamt about.

What do you do? Do you take the road of potential heartache for that 10-35% chance of happiness? Or stay in your bubble, accept what you have and move on? Could we handle the failure? Would we be strong enough to stop and not try again (as we had only said one Fresh IVF cycle).

Are we selfish to want at least one more and tempt fate again after everything we went through just for our first? But then are we selfish to not try? Are there more souls waiting to be a part of our family that we’re not even going to fight for? I just feel my heart and head go back and forth like a tug-o’-war…and no one is moving.


One response to “The Internal Struggle

  1. Heather says:

    I wish there was a right answer to infertility!!! It’s soo hard making decisions that might hurt so much in the end 😦 I hate when people are like be happy for what u have now or focus on the good you have now. It’s easy for someone who has never gone thru infertility to give advice and think ur life is full enough with no babies or just one miracle. I say go for it!!! Otherwise you will always be wondering if that little embryo is another miracle in the making 🙂

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