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Doing Things Differently: Our Wedding

on May 23, 2013

Over the last seven years since I’ve been married (Yes! SEVEN!), I often think about what I would have done differently. I was young, and the wedding was hurried (we had three months to plan), and my tastes were far from what they are now. I’ve learned to be more humble, and to think about the recourse of my actions. So I thought I would share some of those decisions. The one thing I would not change is who I married. He’s a keeper, and I would still have gotten married at the same age. And you know what they say, hindsight is 20/20.

The Ring ~ Although I love my ring, I think I would have taken the time to shop around a little more. In fact, I would have waited until Ryan’s jeweler friend was back in town and get something from him. The ring I have is the first and really only ring I tried on and sometimes I wish I could have pushed Ryan a bit more to check a few more out. I have no idea what I would want instead, but just to see the different choices available.

The Dress ~ My dress is pretty great. And I got it for a steal of a deal! But again, I didn’t shop around too much. I thought I had wanted a satin gown, which is what I got, but I think now I would have rather gone with a chiffon or organza gown. Like a destination wedding dress, with no train, but flow-y. I probably would have gone for something with straps as well, although strapless has always been good for me. And I think I would have tried different necklines – a sweetheart neckline might have looked nice.  I just feel like the dress didn’t fit the style of wedding I had originally planned.

Bridesmaid Dresses ~ Again, in my desire of a low-key, low-budget wedding, I kind of skimped on my beautiful bridesmaids. I should have given them the option to buy whichever dress they wanted, and to just make sure it was black. a LBD would have been much better and a lot more re-wearable than the flowery sun dresses I got them.

Colors ~ No Pink and Blue for this girl anymore! Because I was going with daisies (which I still would, by the way), I would go with yellow. My bouquet would have been white and yellow daisies with greenery, and something for the girls including yellow daisies. Or maybe just even white Gerber daisies. I think the men would then have grey shirts and yellow ties or something to that effect, but no pink and blue!

Bridesmaids ~ I would have chosen different bridesmaids. First off, even though I knew my best friend would not have attended the wedding (she went back home to be with her mom), I would have offered an honorary maid-of-honorship to her first. At the time, she was the closest to me and is still one of my dearest friends, but I foolishly choose someone else who I wasn’t that close to anymore, but had been in my life the longest. Honestly? I would have probably asked my future sister-in-law at the time. As we were wedding planning and invitation-making she helped me the most and was there for me, trying to build a relationship to this girl no one in the family really knew. And, in the future, when we have 25 year and 50 year wedding anniversary parties, my maid-of-honor won’t ever be in attendance because we’re not that close anymore, and I know my family, my sisters and sister-in-law, would be.  If anything, I regret that I never asked her to be in the wedding party, or to be a part of really anything at all (it may not be obvious, but we didn’t really get along at that time). I remember Ryan asking if I was going to ask her to be in the wedding party and I replied, “Are you going to ask my brother?” When he responded with a no, my logic was, “if you don’t think my brother should be in it, why should your sister be?”. A true testament to my immaturity at the time, that’s for sure.

What’s done is done, though and I’m not going to be having another wedding. So I can appreciate the 21 year old self and her plans, but also appreciate that I’m not her anymore.


2 responses to “Doing Things Differently: Our Wedding

  1. becca says:

    I wish I could have been at your wedding. I had to be home to spend the last few days of my mother’s life with her. Missing my best friend’s wedding is one of my biggest regrets. I will not miss any more big moments!!!! You are stuck with me. 🙂

  2. fitzsimonds says:

    I was never upset you couldn’t come – I understood completely. No regrets!

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